Tonight I have been invited to go out with friends to a place that I love. It's a place I went with the man I was most recently dating on our second date. We had a wonderful time with dinner and conversation. Now, I'm not thrilled about going there tonight because, of course, we're no longer dating. Can I take along a smudge stick and cleanse the table where we sat for hours, laughing and talking and flirting? I had a similar experience Monday when out with friends for dinner at another one of my favorite places, where said man and I had one of the most wonderful first dates I've ever had in my life. Thankfully, my seat Monday faced away from where we sat on the date and my friends were generous in letting me vent about the situation.
Maybe I just shouldn't take guys to my favorite places until they have been with me long enough that I know they're worth the risk of tarnishing my favorite places with having to miss something when I go there as a single person.
I feel old saying that, like I'm giving in to the eventual skepticism and mistrust that mark many other singles I know who have been around the block a few times, but which has never marked me. I want to trust that people will be kind to me, even when their path diverges from mine. Am I finally reaching the point where I wonder if I should be open and trusting of someone without testing them? That is so inconsistent with the way I've lived my life to date, but the quesiton lingers nonetheless.
Good things about tonight:
1. I get to go to dinner with people I like tonight and create some good vibes again.
2. I'm going to have good food at dinner.
3. It's Friday, which means in the morning I'm having breakfast with one of my favorite people.