A guy actually sent this to me :)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080320/sc_livescience/cluelessguyscantreadwomen
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Persistence, Otherwise Known as "Not Settling"
I've had a very long week. Most of my projects and activities this week failed in some way or another; from getting ideas heard at work, to planning an event, to finding a small glass bottle with a cork. All of these things, among others, were failures.
As some of you know, I have been failing in many of my endeavors at work almost since I started this job in June. I'm working in a culture where new ideas aren't embraced, and I'm a new ideas kind of girl. So, I've been frustrated and, as a result, really tired for about four months now. On top of that, the last four months have also been the source of a lot of relationship stress, in that a guy I was dating unexpectedly turned out to be a total asshole-pond-scum, and then I took yet another ride on the merry-go-round of "I have feelings for you but I don't want to hurt you again" with my ex from last year. I'm a very, very tired lady.
Today, I had a meeting with my friend and professional mentor, Mentor. He listened to me elaborate all of the ways in which I have failed and been frustrated professionally, and my wish list of things I'd like to happen in my career. Mentor and I sat for a moment in contemplative silence, we blew on our Jasmine tea, and then he said, "You are tired because persistent pursuit of the right thing is very tiring. One day, you will find a leader who wants you on their team because of that drive; you will not settle for less than the right thing and they will recognize that as a valuable trait. At that point, you will still be tired at the end of the day because it is always hard work to strive for the right thing, but you will be tired for the right reasons. Don't worry, you're a hot commodity."
Mentor is a wise man. I am very grateful for his guidance.
I won't settle for less than what I know is right for me. I won't accept a job which doesn't value me, I won't accept a man who doesn't admire me, and I won't accept a cheap plastic jar in place of the beautiful glass one I know is out there, waiting for me to find it.
Three good things:
1. I'll sleep well tonight - I'm tired.
2. In the end, I will be happier with my choices by going for what I want instead of accepting what I have.
3. I'm learning to listen to the wisdom of others.
As some of you know, I have been failing in many of my endeavors at work almost since I started this job in June. I'm working in a culture where new ideas aren't embraced, and I'm a new ideas kind of girl. So, I've been frustrated and, as a result, really tired for about four months now. On top of that, the last four months have also been the source of a lot of relationship stress, in that a guy I was dating unexpectedly turned out to be a total asshole-pond-scum, and then I took yet another ride on the merry-go-round of "I have feelings for you but I don't want to hurt you again" with my ex from last year. I'm a very, very tired lady.
Today, I had a meeting with my friend and professional mentor, Mentor. He listened to me elaborate all of the ways in which I have failed and been frustrated professionally, and my wish list of things I'd like to happen in my career. Mentor and I sat for a moment in contemplative silence, we blew on our Jasmine tea, and then he said, "You are tired because persistent pursuit of the right thing is very tiring. One day, you will find a leader who wants you on their team because of that drive; you will not settle for less than the right thing and they will recognize that as a valuable trait. At that point, you will still be tired at the end of the day because it is always hard work to strive for the right thing, but you will be tired for the right reasons. Don't worry, you're a hot commodity."
Mentor is a wise man. I am very grateful for his guidance.
I won't settle for less than what I know is right for me. I won't accept a job which doesn't value me, I won't accept a man who doesn't admire me, and I won't accept a cheap plastic jar in place of the beautiful glass one I know is out there, waiting for me to find it.
Three good things:
1. I'll sleep well tonight - I'm tired.
2. In the end, I will be happier with my choices by going for what I want instead of accepting what I have.
3. I'm learning to listen to the wisdom of others.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Relief
I've done some great things in the last few days, so here's my "feel good" post:
1. Submitted an 18 page research paper that I've been toiling away on for two months.
2. Closed some doors (see previous post)
3. Asked for some help from somebody important to me, and received it.
4. Helped a friend.
5. Called my mom to catch up.
6. Got out of bed on a weekend before 8:00.
7. Had my Sunday class canceled, but still chose to get some school-related things out of the way.
8. Played "catch the ribbon" with my overweight cat, both to make her happy and to help her shed some pounds.
9. Had coffee with some girlfriends.
Life is good.
1. Submitted an 18 page research paper that I've been toiling away on for two months.
2. Closed some doors (see previous post)
3. Asked for some help from somebody important to me, and received it.
4. Helped a friend.
5. Called my mom to catch up.
6. Got out of bed on a weekend before 8:00.
7. Had my Sunday class canceled, but still chose to get some school-related things out of the way.
8. Played "catch the ribbon" with my overweight cat, both to make her happy and to help her shed some pounds.
9. Had coffee with some girlfriends.
Life is good.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Chase, Reversed
I've been on hiatus from romance. Mostly by choice, though nobody has really been beating down my door to intrude on my state of singlehood. Which, I guess is one part of the problem I've had with dating over the last few years. I don't feel like my door has been knocked on very hard, I've been doing most of the knocking. I had the good fortune to lunch with an old friend yesterday, someone who knows me well and has been in my life in several capacities. His advice was this "You don't take relationships casually, it's just not who you are, and it's great that you recognize that about yourself. However, you should focus on being the fascinating person you are, not on being a girlfriend." So true, and so in line with my recent realizations: I want to be my wonderful self, not somebody else's wonderful girlfriend.
As to the beginning stages of relationships, here's my latest resolution: I'm not going to pursue men anymore. If I'm always the initiator and the aggressor, I struggle to believe that they're as interested in me as I am in them. I want to believe that whenever I get involved with someone that they really want to be around me. They should want to call me up and see how my day was, invite me over for movies, come over to my place for dinner...I should not be the one making all of those invitations. Without pursuit on their end, it's just stress and misery on mine. It's time for me to give the guys out there a chance to make those invitations without any pressure from me. It's also time to let go of all those thoughts running inside my head about who may or may not be lingering on my romantic horizons and what I may or may not do about them if they are, in fact, going to make a move. Regardless of some potentially "I'm interested in you" behavior by a few of the men I know, all mouths are mum on the subject - fine. If they're interested, they'll just have to do something about it. I'm done chasing these men down. It's time to let go again and fly in the wind for a while; it's time to be chased instead of chasing. Because, dammit, I'm worth a little chasing.
Three good things
1. I have a lot to keep me occupied in being my fantastic self.
2. Quitting the 'guessing game' about the motives of others has a certain air of empowerment.
3. It's flattering to be pursued; I think I'll enjoy feeling flattered again.
As to the beginning stages of relationships, here's my latest resolution: I'm not going to pursue men anymore. If I'm always the initiator and the aggressor, I struggle to believe that they're as interested in me as I am in them. I want to believe that whenever I get involved with someone that they really want to be around me. They should want to call me up and see how my day was, invite me over for movies, come over to my place for dinner...I should not be the one making all of those invitations. Without pursuit on their end, it's just stress and misery on mine. It's time for me to give the guys out there a chance to make those invitations without any pressure from me. It's also time to let go of all those thoughts running inside my head about who may or may not be lingering on my romantic horizons and what I may or may not do about them if they are, in fact, going to make a move. Regardless of some potentially "I'm interested in you" behavior by a few of the men I know, all mouths are mum on the subject - fine. If they're interested, they'll just have to do something about it. I'm done chasing these men down. It's time to let go again and fly in the wind for a while; it's time to be chased instead of chasing. Because, dammit, I'm worth a little chasing.
Three good things
1. I have a lot to keep me occupied in being my fantastic self.
2. Quitting the 'guessing game' about the motives of others has a certain air of empowerment.
3. It's flattering to be pursued; I think I'll enjoy feeling flattered again.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Yowchie
I just got home from yoga *bliss*
Ahem, that is, it would be bliss if I could actually walk. That's right folks, I'm on the injured list. I can happily say that yoga was not the cause of my pain, because I would hate to not be able to do yoga.
I woke up today with a pretty major pain in my hip; the very same hip which was hurt in the car accident. It's been doing well, I have no clue where this sudden pain came from. I'm considering accusing Brad, the person who's car I was riding in during the accident, of contaminating me with his hip pain ;) He's dealing with it on a far more frequent and intense level than I am, which is really awful. I feel like now I have a little window into his daily life, and it's certainly a window I could have done without.
After limping my way through all the standing poses in yoga tonight, I hobbled to my car, drove home, hobbled up the 3 flights of stairs to my abode, limped up the spiral staircase to my bedroom, and am now happily ensconced in bed with a heated blanket. Soothing. Nevermind that I can't even move my leg around under the covers right now. Yowchie! I'm sure I'll break this reverie by needing to hobble back down to my kitchen and feed myself soon enough, but I'm going to enjoy not moving for now.
Three good things:
1. I still have ONE painkiller left from the accident.
2. Thank goodness for heated blankets.
3. I have an excuse to wear ugly but comfortable shoes to work tomorrow...this is almost a bad thing, since y'all know how I love my pretty shoes...but I'm counting it as a good thing tonight.
Ahem, that is, it would be bliss if I could actually walk. That's right folks, I'm on the injured list. I can happily say that yoga was not the cause of my pain, because I would hate to not be able to do yoga.
I woke up today with a pretty major pain in my hip; the very same hip which was hurt in the car accident. It's been doing well, I have no clue where this sudden pain came from. I'm considering accusing Brad, the person who's car I was riding in during the accident, of contaminating me with his hip pain ;) He's dealing with it on a far more frequent and intense level than I am, which is really awful. I feel like now I have a little window into his daily life, and it's certainly a window I could have done without.
After limping my way through all the standing poses in yoga tonight, I hobbled to my car, drove home, hobbled up the 3 flights of stairs to my abode, limped up the spiral staircase to my bedroom, and am now happily ensconced in bed with a heated blanket. Soothing. Nevermind that I can't even move my leg around under the covers right now. Yowchie! I'm sure I'll break this reverie by needing to hobble back down to my kitchen and feed myself soon enough, but I'm going to enjoy not moving for now.
Three good things:
1. I still have ONE painkiller left from the accident.
2. Thank goodness for heated blankets.
3. I have an excuse to wear ugly but comfortable shoes to work tomorrow...this is almost a bad thing, since y'all know how I love my pretty shoes...but I'm counting it as a good thing tonight.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Single on Valentin'es Day
Most of the time, this would be a depressing post...who wants to be single on the "most romantic day of the year?" However, I find that I'm ok without romance today. Perhaps it stems from the general feeling of satisfaction with my current status. I don't feel compelled to make any great rushes or leaps of romantic gallantry. I'd rather contine putting one foot in front of the other with care and thoughtfullness, being appreciative of the present moment instead of chasing a future dream-scape. I've cultivated a lot of joy in my life and that bouy's me. Of course, I miss the closeness and the thrill of romance, but I'm content to wait for it to arrive at the right time.
As for my plans on this day of romantic days: I dressed up today, I wore a sparkly new belt that my good friend Meredith gave me. Later, after the workday has ended, I'm going to hit the shops with Jo; we're each looking for a fun new accessory. Later, we'll go see an artsy movie with our mutual friend Daniel, who is also single today. We may or may not head to a local pub for dinner and drinks after the movie.
Is this what they call "living in the moment?"
Three good things:
1. I will be with fun people tonight so there's little chance of my mood taking a turn for the worse.
2. Can anyone say shopping?
3. I'm happy!
As for my plans on this day of romantic days: I dressed up today, I wore a sparkly new belt that my good friend Meredith gave me. Later, after the workday has ended, I'm going to hit the shops with Jo; we're each looking for a fun new accessory. Later, we'll go see an artsy movie with our mutual friend Daniel, who is also single today. We may or may not head to a local pub for dinner and drinks after the movie.
Is this what they call "living in the moment?"
Three good things:
1. I will be with fun people tonight so there's little chance of my mood taking a turn for the worse.
2. Can anyone say shopping?
3. I'm happy!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Huh....
I'm under the weather, and so, at the risk of my "three good things" blog becoming a tarot card blog, here's a very low-energy effort at a post:
The Lovers card suggests that you have the courage to get involved, take a risk, consider a proposal or fall in love again. If you don't put yourself out there, you won't find what you seek. Make a choice to love or forgive. You could consider letting an outside party hook you up with a new prospect or rendezvous. Be aware, however, that giving into passion, temptation or lust could have consequences. Don't bite off more than you can chew.
Whatever in the world does the week ahead hold for me?
Three good things:
1. I don't have to think much in order to post my tarot card - this is good for you, dear readers, since my brain is full of cotton.
2. By my having a moment to write even this minimal post it means I've made sufficient progress on my research paper to take a rest.
3. Things seem to be looking up, if you want to take advice from the cards ;)
The Lovers card suggests that you have the courage to get involved, take a risk, consider a proposal or fall in love again. If you don't put yourself out there, you won't find what you seek. Make a choice to love or forgive. You could consider letting an outside party hook you up with a new prospect or rendezvous. Be aware, however, that giving into passion, temptation or lust could have consequences. Don't bite off more than you can chew.
Whatever in the world does the week ahead hold for me?
Three good things:
1. I don't have to think much in order to post my tarot card - this is good for you, dear readers, since my brain is full of cotton.
2. By my having a moment to write even this minimal post it means I've made sufficient progress on my research paper to take a rest.
3. Things seem to be looking up, if you want to take advice from the cards ;)
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